First Days

Dear Elli,

Today was your first day of kindergarten.  I couldn't possibly be more proud of you.

You woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, posed for the obligatory photos, and climbed up the steps of that school bus like you've been there before.  Like a damn BOSS!

You were nervous.  I could tell because I'm your mom and I know these things.  We talked a lot about feeling nervous this week.  How I get nervous, too.  Everyone does.  But the awesome people of the world don't let feeling nervous stop them.  They take a deep breath and keep going.  And they tell themselves, "I can do this."

I picked you up tonight, and after giving me all the exciting details of the day, I asked you how you felt.  And you said, "On the bus this morning I was missing you when we started to drive far away.  And inside my head I kept saying, "Am I actually doing this or not?"  I said it over and over again in my head.  And I did it.  And I met some nice friends to distract me from missing you."

And you know what?  I've never been more proud of you.  Because you're not just growing up.  You're growing up to be the strong, smart, independent young lady I know you will be. 

That's what makes me emotional.  That's what brings tears to my eyes.  Pride.  Pride in you.  My daughter.

And I'm not sad that you're growing up.  I'm not sad that you are no longer a baby.  I'm glad.  Thrilled, really.  And proud beyond anything I could have ever thought possible. 

Today was your first day of school.  It is only the beginning of a million other important first days of your life.  Days when you will feel nervous.  Days when you will ask yourself, "Am I actually doing this or not?"  And you will do it.  You will take a deep breath, move forward, and say, "I can do this."  And you will walk up the steps like you've been there before.  Like a damn BOSS. 

And I will be waiting for you when you're done.  To hear the details.  And to tell you that I'm proud of you.  Always.

I love you. 

Mom